You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

–”You Are More,” Tenth Avenue North

Have you ever felt like you aren’t enough?  Like no matter how hard you try, you can’t it get right, you can’t please the people you want to, like you just aren’t cut out for this life thing?

Do you ever question your worth?

Do you believe you are lovable? Deserving of good things?

For a long time I felt that way.  I felt like I wasn’t “good” at life.

You’d be surprised at how many people who seem so self-assured on the outside struggle with problems of worthiness and even more so, don’t have a solid identity to fall back.

The world we live in tries so hard to keep us from being ourselves.

This isn’t to say that every person and every situation is out to get you, it doesn’t even mean that it’s necessarily intentional, but I do think that authenticity and genuine self-worth aren’t cultivated by the majority for a reason.

In a world that doesn’t embrace those who are different, it can be hard to find your place.

The interesting thing is that “different” doesn’t have a look.  Being different is not just reflected in clothing choices, it’s in our hearts.

Different is a feeling.

Different is a belief.

Different is not bad or good.  It just is.

So often though, it’s easy to equate who we are with what we do, with what we think, even shallow things like what we wear.  What if that thought process is misleading?  What if that’s only part of the picture?

One of my biggest philosophical interests is the topic of identity and I even wrote part of a thesis on it.

I believe we are (wrongly, though often unknowingly) conditioned to believe that we are what we do.  We are what we say.  We are what we think.

This seems like an easy solution to a major problem.  But I disagree.

What about our hopes?

Our dreams?

Our deepest, perhaps darkest desires?

Our secrets?

Our wishes, big and small, for ourselves and others?

These should all count for something…shouldn’t they?

What about the good things we do when no one’s looking?

The small things like giving a genuine compliment to a stranger, smiling at someone even if they aren’t smiling back, holding the door open for someone a few feet behind you…all those things that make us just a little kinder to others who may or may not reciprocate or say thank you.

Does the small good stuff we do count as much as the bigger mistakes we make?

I don’t have an answer, I’m merely proposing an alternative thought to mainstream conditioning.

And while I’m at it, I’m going to propose some thought experiments, because if you don’t decide who you are, the world will decide for you.  Identity is not just a problem for philosophers, this is a question for all of us as it shapes who we are and think we are, what we do, how we interact with the world, and how we live our lives.

If you couldn’t use words, how would you describe yourself using facial expressions or physical gestures? (Yeah I know that seems crazy, but really think about it)

If you met a humanoid type being who spoke English (or your native language) but didn’t understand human nature, how would you describe yourself? Who would you say you are? What if they didn’t know what a doctor or teacher or plumber is? Who are you beyond your occupation, beyond your relationships, beyond your hobbies?

The point of these exercises (even though they seem absurd) is to get you thinking outside of the box, because you are more than your choices, your mistakes, and the problems you’ve created.  You’re more than your occupation, your roles and relationships, your hobbies, interests, likes, and dislikes.

But if you are more than all of this, what are you?

Who are you?

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