Ladies and gentleman, I have an announcement. MY THESIS HAS FINALLY BEEN COMPLETED!!!!
(Insert screams of my excitement here!!!!) Actually I’m pretty worn out and don’t have much/any enthusiasm other than the “I’m glad this sh*t is done.”
I’ve spared you from the entropy that has enveloped my apartment the last two weeks due to my focus on my thesis, but spare you no more. This is what it looks like when a senior finishes her thesis. Keep in mind, this is WITH some cleaning:
This weekend has been emotionally difficult and physically difficult for some of us at my apartment. I had a friend arrive late Friday night from Boston and we spent Saturday catching up and hanging out, while I tried to also finish the last bits of editing for my thesis. He made me pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and it was so nice to not have to make them myself, though he did set the smoke detector off not once, but twice. Now I know it’s not just me! He didn’t even burn the pancakes but the system in the building is super sensitive. I guess that’s a good thing.
However, at around 1 or 2 pm yesterday afternoon, Angelina’s stomach starting grumbling VERY loudly. I thought she was hungry so I fed her and to sugar coat it, that’s NOT what her stomach needed and she got sick a few times. I called the emergency vet and they said to watch her carefully for any signs of lethargy, unusual behavior, and irregular bowel movements. She was acting pretty much like herself after she got sick the third time, and I made her some rice for dinner so it wouldn’t be too hard on her stomach. She seems to be doing better now.
THEN, my friend said he started not feeling well and to make a long story short, it looks like he has the flu so instead of going out for a celebratory dinner and drinks tonight, we will be enjoying Amy’s No-Chicken Noodle Soup, crackers, and ginger ale on the couch. Celebrating will have to wait.
I have to say that I am quite proud of myself for completing my thesis and making it this far. There were times when I didn’t think I’d even go back to school because I didn’t think I’d be alive and it makes me tear up thinking of where I am now. I’m also starting to work on creating a life that fits me and my needs/wants. If you would have asked me in kindergarten what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d tell you, “A movie star” and show a big smile. If you would have asked me the same question anywhere from 3rd grade until my senior year of college, I would have told you the exact firm where I wanted to work. And now if you ask me, all I can say is I want to be fulfilled and satisfied, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
I’ve learned that these are all important aspects of health and that if any one of them is out of balance, it can tear down the whole system. I want to learn more about health and my plan is to work for about a year before I apply for a post-bac degree, followed by graduate school. Of course, those plans may very well change and as I’ve come to learn, you can only plan for the future so much and you really never know what life will hand you.
I’m excited to learn more about health and wellness and to be the embodiment of these. I won’t be perfect, but I feel good these days and I know it’s because I pushed through. I’ve heard from some readers who have been struggling and for those of you who are recovering from an eating disorder, I want to share that in my experience, the hardest barrier is the first one, which is to break the pattern of symptom usage. For me it’s been the most difficult part thus far. I won’t lie, because it is still difficult, but not as much as it first was to stop the symptom cycle. Progress not perfection. Don’t compare yourself to others who are still in their eating disorder or those who are in recovery. We all move at our own pace and as long as you give it your all (and you know what your all is), then you will move forward. I’m planning some posts that deal directly with feeling proud of NOT using symptoms as well as just some general coping skills and methods that I have used that worked for me. Again, please consult professionals for help! I’m not a professional but I love sharing what has worked for me. There are a lot of women who gave me tips and tricks and support to overcome this monster so there’s nothing wrong with pro-recovery talk and discussions, but it’s important to have professionals overseeing your care. Recovery is VERY multi-faceted.
With that being said, thank you all for sticking with me and your words of encouragement! I feel like even though I haven’t graduated yet, I’m over the biggest hurdle and a new chapter awaits. Happy Monday!
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