I think it takes every blogger to get into their groove and to figure out their niche in the www. I see a lot of bloggers (and I’ve done the same in the past) go for quantity over quality of writing. (Honestly I’m hoping I don’t get a horrible comment that says, “Well your blog has neither”–that’s just my paranoia setting in). You may have noticed if you have been following RR for a while that I write less frequently than I used to.
These days I’m really trying to make sure that what I post is newsworthy for the most part. I want to share the fun things that happen and I also need to share the not-so-fun things because going either way wouldn’t be realistic or would be true to who I am. So here we are, a blog that is raw in content and writing or so I’d like to believe.
Ever since the end of April, as I turned in my last paper for college, depression really began to seep back into my life and I’ve taken a different approach to it now than I have in the past. I’ve mostly been observing it as if it were a wild animal and I didn’t want to scare it into doing something crazy. I’ve tried my best to keep doing the things that are part of my self-imposed treatment plan (medication, individual therapy 2x a week, and DBT skills group now once a week, as well as trying to get in yoga at least 2x a semaine) and that actually keeps me decently busy and scheduled when coupled with taking care of Angie (playing with her, feeding her, taking her out to potty and on walks).
The thing about depression is that you are required to use the mechanism that is providing the pain (your brain) to overcome it. That’s a pretty difficult and fascinating problem if you ask me. It’s also incredibly frustrating if you are the one dealing with it. It’s also vexing and aggravating for loved ones who watch us suffer and just want to help, but can’t go with us to that place of healing that is buried deep within ourselves.
So what are some things that we can do about this? How can we help ourselves when the last thing we feel like doing is helping ourselves?
It’s a tricky thing to do and I’m not sure I really have answers. I know that it takes a lot of energy, sometimes all of my energy to keep doing the basic things I need to do to take care of myself (the treatment plan listed above), but what if this isn’t enough? What happens when you are diagnosed with a disorder that means that your brain doesn’t just bounce back from “the blues” like someone else’s?
I’ve struggled to come to terms with the fact that there might be something that is key to helping me overcome depression that I have stayed away from and that something is exercise.
Yes I do believe yoga counts as exercise if you are looking at it from a physical perspective and yoga has documented health benefits, particularly for the mind. I practice yoga to integrate my body, mind, and spirit and it’s more therapeutic in an emotional way than anything else. Yoga for me is therapy, and I do not practice it with the intention of getting a good workout in, although that is a side effect.
At points in my life I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with exercise-on both ends of the spectrum. I’ve gone from extreme to extreme and I really struggle to find a balance with exercise and a “healthy” lifestyle because I look at the blog world and successful “health” bloggers that think exercising 5 days a week is healthy behavior (for me personally, that would be unhealthy behavior). I question our society’s view of exercise as it relates to health and because I’m in recovery from anorexia, it would be a very bad idea for me to start exercising like I used to.
So how to achieve moderation? This I don’t know yet but I am setting it as an intention of mine to discover ways to like moving my body that could possibly help my propensity for depression. I plan on chronicling my journey with movement and sharing it with you all, although this does not mean I am switching the focus of my blog, I am simply trying to uncover other aspects of my healing process.
I hope you all have a great start to your week and keep cool with all the heat out there!
Other posts on Depression: